A Million Reasons (how I know he's real)
How do we know God is real? That's one of the toughest questions most of us will ask in our lives. For me, a girl that grew up in a Christian home, the first answer I can think of is "of course he exists. The Bible tells me so." But come on. Really. How do I, personally, know? It needs to be pinpointed exactly before we encounter really difficult things in our lives, and for when people who don't know for sure ask us.
I learned that lesson. So here is my conclusion:
There is no big “aha!” moment in my walk with him that started when I was 5, but I have about a million seemingly small ones that I can point to and say, “there’s no way that isn’t God.” There are just a few of them.
Before my husband and I were married and I was in college, I was supposed to come back to my hometown with my friend for a long weekend. He had to be at a certain early time (for which reason I can’t remember anymore), so we had to be sure to leave at a certain very early time. We had triple checked out alarms the night before, but somehow his did not go off in the morning and we were about 10 or 15 minutes late leaving. He was so pissed, but 20 minutes down the interstate, traffic came almost to a complete halt because of a huge, multi-car pile up that took up almost the entire road. It had happened very recently. We looked at each other in shock because we knew from the timing that had his alarm gone off on time, we would have been in that crash, hospitalized, and possibly dead. Fast forward 3 or 4 years when my hubby was in gunsmithing school in Arizona. We had just had out first boy, so I was unable to work, and since my husband was a full time student, neither was he. So we had no way of making money, and naturally, we were worried we’d have to take out another huge loan just to put food on the table. One Sunday getting out of church (a very big church in which we had never spoken to anyone beyond “good morning”), an older couple walked by our little car as we were loading up our boy and saw our Alaska plates. Turns out, their daughter had lived in the tiny, fly-speck down in Alaska we had for a couple years. Of course, they asked, “what brings you so far away?” And my hubby replied that he was in gunsmithing school. The man hired him on the spot without any references from his teachers or checking into his work to do some gun repairs on his rifle. Turns out this random man is the owner of one of the most prestigious gun part producers in the country. Hubby worked for him throughout his schooling making and fixing guns, and still does work for him today. The work put food on the table, paid for his schooling, and got his foot in the door of his occupation in a dramatic, awe-inspiring way that only God would orchestrate. Oh, and I forgot to mention, that couple had only been to our church once, and never went again. Like I said, there are a million other little things I could stick on to the list, like the time I desperately needed black dress pants (a requirement for something I was doing) and had no money, prayed about it, and someone randomly dropped by with a pair for me that fit perfectly. Call these instances a coincidence, random chance, good luck, but like old Ben Kanobi said, “in my experiences, there is no such things as luck” or chance in such cases. I can see God’ hand in every one of these so-called coincidences. God has been showing up in my life in a different way recently. I haven’t told many people about this, so I’m kind of bearing my soul here. While I was pregnant with our second son, we discovered that I have some sort of kidney disease. It’s disconcerting to the doctors because I’m an otherwise perfectly healthy 25-year-old with no personal or family history of kidney disease, so I shouldn't have this problem. They were hoping it would go back to being latent again after Carter was born, and I wouldn't have to worry about it for years to come. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case. It’s even gotten worse since he was born, so I’m scheduled to have a biopsy next week so they can pinpoint the problem and work on treating it. It would be easy for me to be mad at God for letting me get sick in the first place and for not healing me when I prayed for healing. I could be indignant because it seems like bad things like this shouldn't happen to good Christians that follow him. And it would be SUPER easy to go into panic mode, thinking about what could happen if I needed surgery or a kidney replacement or how to get money for treatment and/or surgery and what would happen to my kids, my family if I got really sick or died. But you know what? I haven’t even felt a shadow of said anxiety or indignity. Now, I’m not bragging about my immense faith because I’m pretty sure I’m not a person of huge, saint-like faith. I’ve been known to panic about stupid stuff that wouldn't even likely happen (like a burglar in the middle of the night in the backwoods of Vermont… like that would even happen). I know it’s because God has given me this supernatural peace about this whole situation. I can be absolutely certain that whatever happens with my stupid kidneys that God is in complete control, just like all those non-coincidences I mentioned before. I can’t change a single thing or better my situation in the tiniest way if I worry and stress about it. God has been so faithful to me my whole life that I can’t doubt him now. However, I’d be a liar if I said I wasn't scared about the giant needles they’re going to plunge in me, but I consider that a healthy fear, like I was afraid of the grizzlies as I was fishing in bear country in Alaska or of the scorpion we found in the shower in Arizona. But that’s a different story. =]
Now that I know why I believe what I believe, I can go on through life with the confidence that he's walking right next to me, taking care of my every need, and bringing me through every valley of shadows. I hope you have that kind of confidence, too. It's liberating.
I learned that lesson. So here is my conclusion:
There is no big “aha!” moment in my walk with him that started when I was 5, but I have about a million seemingly small ones that I can point to and say, “there’s no way that isn’t God.” There are just a few of them.
Before my husband and I were married and I was in college, I was supposed to come back to my hometown with my friend for a long weekend. He had to be at a certain early time (for which reason I can’t remember anymore), so we had to be sure to leave at a certain very early time. We had triple checked out alarms the night before, but somehow his did not go off in the morning and we were about 10 or 15 minutes late leaving. He was so pissed, but 20 minutes down the interstate, traffic came almost to a complete halt because of a huge, multi-car pile up that took up almost the entire road. It had happened very recently. We looked at each other in shock because we knew from the timing that had his alarm gone off on time, we would have been in that crash, hospitalized, and possibly dead. Fast forward 3 or 4 years when my hubby was in gunsmithing school in Arizona. We had just had out first boy, so I was unable to work, and since my husband was a full time student, neither was he. So we had no way of making money, and naturally, we were worried we’d have to take out another huge loan just to put food on the table. One Sunday getting out of church (a very big church in which we had never spoken to anyone beyond “good morning”), an older couple walked by our little car as we were loading up our boy and saw our Alaska plates. Turns out, their daughter had lived in the tiny, fly-speck down in Alaska we had for a couple years. Of course, they asked, “what brings you so far away?” And my hubby replied that he was in gunsmithing school. The man hired him on the spot without any references from his teachers or checking into his work to do some gun repairs on his rifle. Turns out this random man is the owner of one of the most prestigious gun part producers in the country. Hubby worked for him throughout his schooling making and fixing guns, and still does work for him today. The work put food on the table, paid for his schooling, and got his foot in the door of his occupation in a dramatic, awe-inspiring way that only God would orchestrate. Oh, and I forgot to mention, that couple had only been to our church once, and never went again. Like I said, there are a million other little things I could stick on to the list, like the time I desperately needed black dress pants (a requirement for something I was doing) and had no money, prayed about it, and someone randomly dropped by with a pair for me that fit perfectly. Call these instances a coincidence, random chance, good luck, but like old Ben Kanobi said, “in my experiences, there is no such things as luck” or chance in such cases. I can see God’ hand in every one of these so-called coincidences. God has been showing up in my life in a different way recently. I haven’t told many people about this, so I’m kind of bearing my soul here. While I was pregnant with our second son, we discovered that I have some sort of kidney disease. It’s disconcerting to the doctors because I’m an otherwise perfectly healthy 25-year-old with no personal or family history of kidney disease, so I shouldn't have this problem. They were hoping it would go back to being latent again after Carter was born, and I wouldn't have to worry about it for years to come. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case. It’s even gotten worse since he was born, so I’m scheduled to have a biopsy next week so they can pinpoint the problem and work on treating it. It would be easy for me to be mad at God for letting me get sick in the first place and for not healing me when I prayed for healing. I could be indignant because it seems like bad things like this shouldn't happen to good Christians that follow him. And it would be SUPER easy to go into panic mode, thinking about what could happen if I needed surgery or a kidney replacement or how to get money for treatment and/or surgery and what would happen to my kids, my family if I got really sick or died. But you know what? I haven’t even felt a shadow of said anxiety or indignity. Now, I’m not bragging about my immense faith because I’m pretty sure I’m not a person of huge, saint-like faith. I’ve been known to panic about stupid stuff that wouldn't even likely happen (like a burglar in the middle of the night in the backwoods of Vermont… like that would even happen). I know it’s because God has given me this supernatural peace about this whole situation. I can be absolutely certain that whatever happens with my stupid kidneys that God is in complete control, just like all those non-coincidences I mentioned before. I can’t change a single thing or better my situation in the tiniest way if I worry and stress about it. God has been so faithful to me my whole life that I can’t doubt him now. However, I’d be a liar if I said I wasn't scared about the giant needles they’re going to plunge in me, but I consider that a healthy fear, like I was afraid of the grizzlies as I was fishing in bear country in Alaska or of the scorpion we found in the shower in Arizona. But that’s a different story. =]
Now that I know why I believe what I believe, I can go on through life with the confidence that he's walking right next to me, taking care of my every need, and bringing me through every valley of shadows. I hope you have that kind of confidence, too. It's liberating.
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